We all have learned a great deal about ourselves (and others) over the last 14 months. One thing I have learned: I lack the ability to sit around and be counterproductive. I think some early — ahem — less than productive years are directly responsible for this. Obviously, though, I am not the only one who, out of either quarantine boredom or a desire to embrace positive change, decided to do some soul searching and make the quarantine and pandemic as productive as possible and interesting as it could be. A quick bit of research turned up my top ten interesting and bizarre things people attempted and accomplished during the pandemic. Some depend on your definition of “accomplished.”
1. People who researched “How to hide your baldness.” Hey … you’re bald! There is no hiding it and I’m certainly not using spray paint…obviously.
2. Learning the practice of JOMO, the joy of missing out, instead of FOMO, fear of missing out. I believe I already had this skillset down. It’s called staying home.
3. “How to deal with a naughty child.” Could have use this a decade ago. Of course, they are both such “good boys” now.
4. “Best lower back stretches” for boomers like myself and would be helpful to prevent me from routinely seeing the ugliest chiropractor in the Tri-State.
5. “Training your cat to use the toilet.” If you don’t get this, you either don’t have cats or litter responsibilities. Still a tad bit unsure of it, though. Do you really want to walk in on that?
6. A personal favorite: the 103-year-old grandma who beat COVID-19 and celebrated with a Bud Light. Who would not have wanted to clink glasses with her? How awesome is that? Rock on, Grandma!
7. A man in France ran a marathon all on his 23-foot balcony during the lockdown — demonstrating the fine line between idiocy and brilliance. Such a fine line.
8. Not to be outdone by the balcony marathoner in France, a British man ran one in his 20-foot backyard during lockdown while thousands tuned in and he raised $32,000 for healthcare services.
9. A man in suburban Chicago who then was inspired by said British runner ran 7,000 times back and forth in his backyard also raising thousands for charity and getting his wife and children involved, with their own backyard milestones.
10. Then there is the 59-year-old magazine publisher who, after last doing an ironman in 2007 and saying “never again,” looked down at the scale a week before Halloween and said *$%#!! then decided to do something about it and signed up for Ironman Tulsa on May 23. Might be one of the damn dumbest things I have heard of but the guy is not known as “Mr. Logical.” Does a 2.4-mile swim, 112-mile bike, and 26-mile run sound pleasant to you? “Getting there” has not been half the fun. Maybe he should have learned “you don’t always need to be productive” and learned Spanish. Then maybe he wouldn’t be so damn sore and need to see the ugly chiropractor. Once again, on that fine line between idiocy and brilliance, I know where I fall.
As always I look forward to hearing from most of you.
Todd A. Tucker
P.S. A very special thanks for helping an old man along to Bodyworks, the YMCA, Dr. Chris Gilkey, CycleBar and my running partner Steve Nussmeier. I also really appreciate my wife who must use her own endurance to hear about it all, as do I listening to my running partner.